Just for fun

On a recent flight the flight attendants said "can we have your attention, or pretend to have
your attention. In case you are displeased with our service there are six exits aboard
this aircraft...

"Your bags will be available on carrousel x. If you do not find them, they will be available in 2-3 weeks on eBay."

A guy running up to the Gate Agent crying, "Do I have time to go to the bathroom before the flight leaves?" And the Gate Agent replies, "I don't know, I've never timed you."